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A Tax On Happiness 26 February 2007

Posted by David in Funny.
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Britain’s rate of happiness poverty has soared according to a new report by the UN, with Britain’s rates among the highest in the World.

Those suffering from happiness poverty are most often characterised by depressed facial expressions, a slouched walk and tendancy to complain about four wheel drives, which theBrowny refer to as “gas guzzlers“. They feel it their right to complain about people richer than them, better looking than them, with more friends than them, and with brighter kids than them.

“The gap between the happy and sad has grown to a huge level never before seen,” according to the report’s author, Professor Liebstrum of the Centre for Envy, Jealousy and Hate, “seeing people so excessively happy just makes the sad even sadder. There is so much inequality.”

Michael Meacher, the Labour leadership challenger, went further. “We have got to redistribute happiness,” he told reporters, “there’s nothing else for it, happiness must be taxed.”

The government believes the happiness tax would fit well with plans for reformed council tax. “We’re already going to tax conservatories, double glazing, views, good schools, local shops and ‘peace and quiet’; happiness will fit perfectly,” said a Downing Street spokesperson, “we’re especially going to tax smug gits called Gordon sitting in the backs of cars [see pic].”

There are fears that taxing happiness will simply be giving in to miserable, jealous hate-filled Victor Meldew types, but no one is listening. Envy is in fashion for 2007.

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Comments»

1. totaltransformation - 26 February 2007

You can pry my happiness from my cold dead lips!…lol.


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